power

13 Nov, 2024

The power you held over me,
controlled with ease.
I grew angry,
over your betrayal.
Now, I anticipate it from everyone.
Now, I view the world through a skewed lens,
feeling like this facade could collapse without my control.

I see things with uncertainty,
look at people through dead eyes,
no longer feeling sympathy,
or regret for my actions.
What I’ve learned is this,
being kind,
or being “not guilty”. won’t erase the resentment,
that builds over time.

I don’t understand,
why you had such power over me,
why I became someone filled with hatred.
Now, I constantly play the victim,
I’ve always known I’m good at it,
but now it feels wrong,
because I know I was in the wrong.

It was unfair,
I know that all too well,
but my world isn’t as bad as I make it out to be.
I’ve been blessed by God,
but it hasn’t been enough to erase this scar.
I’ve tried everything,
yet it remains etched in me,
a mark that won’t fade.
The betrayal I still can’t comprehend,
and how the world crumbled before my eyes.

I wish it were easy,
to erase all of this,
to erase these memories.
I wish it weren’t so hard,
but the trauma lingers.
I still see you in everyone,
and it makes me feel defensive.
I hate it.
I hate the control you had over me,
even though you didn’t realize it,
I hate how your actions still affect me.

I pleaded, day and night,
365 days,
but nothing changed.
I’ve learned to live with the hurt,
but never to heal.
This is my fate,
because I let you hold power over me when I shouldn’t have.